To be completely honest with you living with my brother is one of the most frustrating experiences I could ever imagine. Unless you have an autistic sibling or have lived with an autistic individual your whole life, you cannot even grasp at how difficult it is at times. Sometimes I want to pull out all of my hair and dive off of a tall building. Other times I smile when I look at my innocent little brother. He can be a pain, but he can also be entertaining, funny, loving, and sweet. Before I began this project I never really stopped to think about all of my brothers capabilities or the unique characteristics that make him who he is. Brandon may drive me absolutely bonkers on a daily basis but there is so much more to him than meets the naked eye.
There are times when Brandon comes down from his room just wanting to sit with my mom and I in the living room. My mother is Brandon’s absolute favourite. Minus the violent years, Brandon loves to hug and kiss my mother. He is so innocent and kind hearted. It’s not always easy to see it, but when you sit down and think about it you realize that he is a very special individual who may have trouble understanding our complex world, but is struggling with us to find ways to communicate.
Brandon loves to go out. He loves to go to the park to watch the waves in the pond, he loves to go various stores to look around in hope of getting a treat, and he loves to be taken out for fast food. Brandon enjoys watching television in his room, and listening to music when the mood strikes. One of my most cherished moments with my brother is making him dance. It is so amusing trying to get him to move his body the way I move mine. His eagerness and willingness to try and mimic my every move is not only sweet, but a hilarious sight. When Brandon is alone listening to his mp3 player or in the passenger seat and the music is flowing, you are sure to know which song he is enjoying by the way he rocks back and forth or sways side to side.
One of the easiest ways of getting Brandon’s attention is through food. Brandon adores food more then anyone I know. I’d have to say out of all the foods Brandon is allowed to consume, his favourites would have to be: chips, chicken, and tuna. When Brandon was younger he was a very picky eater and had an insanely low rate of bowel movements. To be blunt: He simply did not poop for weeks. My mother knew that something had to be wrong so she did some research, went to some doctors, got some tests done and came to the conclusion that Brandon was allergic to beef, dairy, and sensitive to many other foods. Once we were aware of this, Brandon’s diet drastically changed. He was not eating any dairy or beef products. I always have sympathy for Brandon when it comes to his diet. Cheese and chocolate are foods that I could simply not be able to cope without and he manages day to day. Mind you, if you ever leave one of those products in his sight without supervision, he does not hesitate to scarf it down whole.
Brandon is mesmerized by water. He would sit and look at a waterfall or a river for long periods of time. He enjoys taking baths, splashing around, and when summer camp rolls around he gets to swim in the community center pool everyday. Although Brandon’s fascination for water seems merely innocent, do not let him fool you. If you turn your back on Brandon for a moment or you doze off while watching television you can be sure he will have the water running nearly flooding the washroom. There have been a few occasions where Brandon would flood the washroom through to the kitchen and down to the laundry room in the basement.
Brandon’s mischief certainly does not conclude with water. Over the years I can concoct a small list of all the materials Brandon has spread all over his body and anything else around him. This list includes but is not limited to:
- Paint
- Paint
- Peanut Butter
- Excrement
- Baby Powder
- Excrement
- Baby Powder
- Mud
- Ketchup
Brandon has also been known to dump out dish soap, laundry detergent, empty Kleenex boxes, unravel toilet paper, scratch faces off of old photographs, and rip apart clothing.
Brandon can also be quite embarrassing out in public places. If you think a few pimples on your face is embarrassing then you have not taken out my brother shopping. Brandon has not only caused plenty of scenes in public, he has also urinated in the middle of an aisle, attacked me while waiting in line at the grocery store, suddenly stopping and sitting on the floor refusing to get up, waving his arms around, exposing his private area in the office of the real estate agent, suddenly yelling in a quiet area, and who knows what else I’ve repressed or forgotten over the last 19 years.
Brandon is big on routine. Certain things must be in certain places, certain foods must be eaten when certain family members come home, and certain DVDs need to be watched everyday. For example with my mother comes home from a hard day on the job Brandon rushes down the stairs to greet her at the door and thus begins “mommy’s home” routine. Brandon must have chips, then tuna, then chips again if he can get away with it.
One of the most frustrating aspects about Brandon would be what I call “Pause Mode.” Brandon often gets into a mode where he pauses before he does anything that he is told to do. For example: Brandon is told to get the DVD and go upstairs to put it into the DVD player. Either Brandon will pause mid way on the stairs waiting to be told again, pause at the top of the stairs, pause in front of his bedroom, or pause right in front of the DVD player. Sometimes he pauses at all of those points. Even a simple task such as putting on socks can take more time than the average Joe. Sometimes Brandon is in what I call “Ultra Pause Mode” where he must be instructed to eat every spoonful of rice or every leaf of lettuce in his salad. This can become very maddening. In “Ultra Pause Mode” Brandon tends to yell an indescribable sound to let whoever know that he needs further instruction in order to complete said task. In creating The Brandon Project I hope strengthen his ability to communicate so that the indescribable maddening sound will come to a peaceful end.
Although Brandon can be utterly “pull your hair out” irritating, he can also be calm as he flips through picture books, or standing by his window flashing the neighbourhood. This is also something that needs to be addressed in this project. Brandon must be taught not to expose himself in his bedroom window or in the office of the real estate agent.
One of the biggest problems that Brandon has besides communication is using the proper washroom facilities. Now that Brandon has a regulated diet he produces a healthy sized bowel movement almost everyday. The problem is where he produces the bowel movement. Brandon still has trouble understanding that must use the toilet to do his “business,” including number one and number two.
Brandon has a lot of lessons that must be taught and not a lot of time to do so. It’s bad enough that there are almost no programs available for individuals with moderate PDDNOS, and the school he is currently attending will only be able to have him there until he is 21. Brandon is currently 19, so that leaves two years to teach him everything he needs in order to successfully function in society. If he is not prepared by then, then what will we do? Who will watch him when everyone is at work? Who will entertain him all day? When will the stress and the worry end? Why is there almost no support? These are all unanswered questions many of us are struggling to understand and not willing to accept.
In conclusion Brandon may drive me insane and cause me to wish for an early death, but all in all he is a special individual struggling to live in a world where the majority does not understand him and is not willing to understand him. His subtle gestures of love and general curiosity in everyday tasks give me hope and motivation. Overall I love Brandon, and the sooner he is able to function independently, the sooner we can all relax, and the faster we can create hope for other families.
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